Heart on My Sleeve

May,2008

So, I haven't heard from you, but I'm gonna throw this out there .. . .

}Natasha Benningfield impressed me.  Maybe I'll try her out and give her some credit.

}David Cook is still probably gonna win. However, I'm all for Syesha showing up on broadway - she'd be GREAT!

}Trip to New Orleans is getting more and more exciting.  Rach is joining us, Aunt Jeanine and Terry are joining us . . .. now I'm only worried about being able to stomach all the wonderful food that will be there w/in 3 days and visit with everyone!  FUN< FUN.  My husband officially getting "initiated" into the Clark/cajun way . . . . I can't wait to take a ridiculous amount of pictures.

}In the meantime, I'm working on the house, packing, doing laundry, maintaining, etc. in order to make this trip as "stressless" as possible on the kids and animals.  *did i hear you laugh out loud?*  . .. anyway, laundry is now done, just have to work on the kitchen floor and pack up clothes, as all of the fun stuff (movies, kids' toys, etc) have already been put away to seem all that much more fun when they rediscover them 500 miles away from home!

}And my last few points, which are hardly worth mentioning:

1.  Its going to be between the Davids.

2.  Attention Class of 1995:  while cleaning the kitchen tonight, I heard these 2 songs in a row:  "Wonderful Tonight" - Eric Clapton; "Hard to Handle" - Black Crowes.  Can I hear an amen?!  Oh the memories .. . .

3.  Does Leona Lewis' new song "Bleeding Love" (which I really like, BTW) remind you of an Annie Lennox song?

}  Hang in there with us and pray, please, for our visit to Shriner's Hospital in Tampa on Monday for Blair.

}Speaking of Blair, she's been a bit slow in her verbal expression.  So, you can imagine my surprise when she VERY proudly chose to mimic a song for the first time yesterday .. . this is what we heard; " LOW< LOW, LOW, LOw., Low, low."  As in "Shorty got Low, low, low, low" as in, "apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur."  Are you kidding me?

}Oh, and lastly, look for a post coming shortly about my amazing savings from my last grocery trip!  I'll give you a hint:  I spent $64 and saved $58!!!!!  I'm not a math wiz, but that's pretty good, right?  Stay tuned to hear how I did it . . . .

Random Thoughts

So here's what I've thought about blogging lately, but just haven't quite gotten around to it . . ..

>David Cook is going to win.  And if he doesn't, he should.  But, if he doesn't, I'm not worried that we won't hear from him again.  Can anyone say Chris Daughtry?  He totally won me over this week.

>Blair is officially two.  She acts it, she talks it and she looks it.  ug.  And I thought she was different .... {sigh}

>Learning new things almost daily about "Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome".  What do you know about it?

>Way, Way excited for Daddy's retirement party at Grandma and Papa's in New Orleans in 3 weeks.  Yes, we WILL be there!  woo hoo.  I'm even looking forward to the long car ride so I can catch up on my magazines!

>Can't wait for Momma, Grandma and hopefully Rachel to see the girls in their Easter dresses Momma made - in person.

>Contemplating where to begin backing up all my picture files to disc since I've slacked for the last year.  Anyone got an external hardrive they're not using???  lol

Talk about a backhanded compliment??

So I'm checking out at Publix the other day and I have some beer in my cart.

The cashier says, "i.d, please."

I hand it to her (I ALWAYS get carded.)

She looks at my license, looks up at me and says,

"Wow!  I guess I just made YOUR day."

I'm sad

that Dan Fogelberg died.

that my Christmas cards aren't going to arrive to everyone before Christmas, because the city of North Port seems to be out of stamps.

that Ava has croup.

that my husband faces challenges at work every day that hurt his (and my) heart.

that some of our family won't receive their gifts from us before Christmas.

that Walmart is so necessary, yet riduculous to deal with.

that Amazon.com is stupid.

that I'm feeling selfish while so many others are going without.

I'm sure I'll have something happier to say tomorrow.

Until then,

xoxo, and know that we are all ok.

I'm Invisible - and proud of it

I started a post yesterday about how discouraged I am right now with Collin.  Then I thought better of it.  I rarely vent to you guys - on the blog, at least ;)  - about the roller coaster that it has been by just being a part of his life.  I read the following passage on a post on Nikki's blog this week and it gave me some new things to think about.  Maybe invisible isn't such a bad way to be . . ..  Hope all you mommys out there enjoy it.

I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going she's going . she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said,

"I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of w hat you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he s a w a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. I t is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

.

Personality DNA

Check this out!  Let me know if you want to "Psyche you/Psyche me." Fun, fun! 

Rach, this is all you . . ..

(and here is me)

I've Been Tagged, Have You?

I was tagged by Kirsten about a week ago to list 10 weird things about myself.  Its taken me this long to come up with 6, so I'm hoping as I type the rest will hit me with wild abandon.

1.  I can say the alphabet backwards - quickly.  I mean, pretty much better than I can say it forwards - to the point that I still misalphabatize the last 5 letters of the alphabet.

2.  If I step on a crack with my left foot, I have to step on one with my right foot to "make it even".  OCD at its worst . . .

3.  I collected Curious George memorabilia long before he was cool and at least 6 years before I ever had kids.  In fact, my collection was the only thing my ex-husband and I fought over in our divorce.  We ended up splitting it in half (which is ludicrous considering I now have 3 kids, he has none and he has half of MY (our) collection.)

4.  I'm named after my aunt (my mom's sister).  First and middle name - and I'm a lot like her too.

5.  I was Miss Robertson County 1994, and runner up in 3 Miss Tennessee preliminary pageants (Miss America circuit) in 1996 and 1997.

6.  I was literally dropped on my head at 6 months old.  I had a concussion and everything.  (Yet, oddly enough, I am not sensitive to the statement, "Were you dropped on your head, or something?")

7.  When I eat something sweet, I have to have something salty afterwards.  (Especially if its right before bedtime.)

8.  Both of my babies were born 2 weeks early to the day - water broke at home two weeks before their due dates.

9.  When I was 6, my sister's worm once won a worm race.  (Whew!  Try to say that fast 3 times!)  Anyway, I'm running out here . . .

10.  When I was 5, I won a "cooking contest" without cooking with the Flower Pot Dessert.  (Ice cream in a flower pot with crushed oreos on top and a fake flower in the middle.)

Everyone else I know would respond has already been tagged, so I'm gonna take a guess that maybe ONE of the following might read my blog?  If so, let's hear it - and make sure to tag some more fellow bloggers:

Jennifer, Julie P., Rebecca S., Chris T. and Karen H.

Happy Day to you all!  :)

P.S.  I know, I know -  I've GOT to get some better pictures of myself.

Its gonna be a good day

Check this out.

I never win anything, so this is very exciting.  Plus it perks me up from this head cold I've had for the last two days.

Woo hoo!

I am blessed.

Last month, I received in the mail this card with a WalMart Gift Card in it.  No signature, no reason, just a "random act of kindess."

Wow.  How lucky I am to have someone like this in my life.

Whoever you are (and I have my guess ;) ) . . ..

Thank you.

A Matter of Perspective

Since you're reading, you either 1) Think my kids are really cute or 2) Are interested in my "take" on things.  So, as random as they may seem; here's hoping that one of them make sense to you . . . .

*I am an official "card holding" member to a club.  Yes, I've paid dues for two years.  And no, there is no official "card."  Maybe I should make one? Never have I ever gotten such a kick out of ringing doorbells at 9pm and running as fast as I can into an already running car in an effort to get away quickly.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you're not "in the club."  If you do - thank you for giving me the opportunity to spread joy and for allowing me the opportunity to be on the receiving end.  Thanks for making me feel *cool* - in more ways than one, I finally feel like I "belong."  Strange it took till I was almost 30, huh?

*Have you seen the new Fischer Price commercial?  The one where the children are playing video games via a piano keyboard controller and the mother is bragging that they're learning to "play music" while they're actually playing video games?  Is this Saturday Night Live?  Are you kidding me?  Why should she have to fool her children into learning how to play music by hooking it up to a T.V. and letting them think its a video game?  Momma and Daddy - you did a good job.  Please let me know that I"m not the only one disturbed by this concept.  P.S.  My children will take music lessons - without the help of a video game or T.V. -- and they will LIKE IT! {said in my best stern voice}

*Silver linings --- I guess right now is a great time to be unpublished and "unknown" in this great big world called scrapbooking.  I am inspired daily by the wonderful and artistic blogs and artwork of various artists in this field and for some reason, all of the sudden many of them are being "attacked" on their own turf!  Are we in high school?  What happened to admiring others for their individuality and learning something from everyone you come in contact with, regardless of differences?  And, HELLO - if you don't like them and can't respect them, why, oh why are you reading their blogs and following their artwork?  GET A LIFE.  (or give birth - that should put it into perspective)  I for one am scared to lose some of the "pioneers" in this blogging gig to the ignorant ridicule of others.  How sad for all of us.

*Grey's Anatomy.  Need I say anymore?  Lovin' Baily.  Hatin' Callie.  Poor George (although, yes, you should've stepped up to the plate a long time ago).  And 8.7 million $ on the refrigerator?  Give me a break . . . .  Please tell me it will be on again next week.

*Feelin' crafty these days.  Have completed quite a few projects, but can't post all of them yet since some are gifts.  They've all be photographed though, and I'm anxious to upload them for your viewing pleasure once the season has passed.

*Rachel - I can't wait till next week.  Its going to go WAY to fast.  I cant wait to see you and share my family with you.  Thank you, and Abe, for this already amazing gift.   (And we haven't even been there yet!)

*Goals - am seriously considering submitting to the 2007 Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame.  But OMG - have you read these requirements/rules?  I think submitting alone will be a crash course in the "do's and don'ts" of getting published in the scrapbook industry.  So, if anyone (MOMMA????) is up for the challenge - lets do this together!  On another note, am seriously stressing on how to make this a special Christmas for my children.  Money is extra tight and I can't "make" stuff for them that they appreciate the way I can for other family members.  Oh, the agony of parenting . . . .  actually asked Brad last night if I could work nights at Toys 'r Us - which would require him being home at a certain time every night/weekend and handling the kids while I'm gone.  The jury's still out.

*Updates- Name that Tune - see below.  Blip - sadly got very sick (after swallowing a ribbon that was tied around the neck of one of the girls' stuffed animals) and has gone to live with the vet, who can take much better care of her, as we could not afford a "ribbonactomy" and will not return to our home.  So sad.  One of the many tastes of grown-up "responsibleness" I've had as of late.  Yuck.  But, she is now doing much better, due in part, to our very smart decision.  And I miss her VERY much.

*Lastly, Blair Corinne obviously has her mother's thighs.

So, there you go.  My 2 cents.  What do you think?